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Showing posts from 2015

Who Pulls the Trigger?

In the light of the recent shooting in Oregon, I wanted to continue my last article which discussed the importance of mental health education for our youth. Its become clear that the issue of gun control in our country will not be rectified or monitored adequately any time soon. Ultimately, its not about the guns but the people owning/managing them. I believe that if we focus our attention on the populace we can begin to see changes in senseless shootings.

I wrote previously, the need for mental health reform in our educational system especially in the public school setting. I really cannot call it reform since there is basically nothing established as of now as mandated curriculum for any mental health courses. It boggles my mind that our youth of today are not taught in a structured format about the human condition and how we react emotionally to our environment. I am not talking about rocket science, I am talking about the affect people go through when dealing with loss (death, brea…

The Education Our Children Need

I have been an educator and principal while practicing as a therapist. In that time, I have worked amongst some of the most incredible individuals and some of the most lost children. I spent most of my time at these educational establishments developing relationships that would provide support on how to overcome many emotional issues as well as assist my students in understanding how these emotions affect them. Never was this part of their required education yet I incorporated this development in many areas of our interactions and lessons. The result has been incredible relationships which I cherish each day yet most importantly they have developed the tools and support to overcome many of the day to day issues we all experience. 

It saddens me to know that in such a progressive country we have not recognized the value of teaching our children communication, relational, and emotional skills. What we have done with our education system  is increased the testing abilities of our youth in…

Mental Health Support for College Athletes

http://www.foxsports.com/other/story/madison-holleran-ncaa-student-athletes-mental-health-issues-032515

After reading this article it got me thinking about my work with educational institutions and the neglect many of these institutions have imposed on their athletes. Mental health issues amongst student athletes has always been a behind the scenes issue and approached passively. Nowadays, there are millions of dollars being pumped into athletic programs to produce a product of great substance. The catalyst for the product is a young adult learning to find their way in this world. There are pressures all around them: school, parental, peers, media/society, and most importantly team based. These stressors can be quite intense and very difficult to manage for a young adult who is being asked to maintain a successful balance. Most student athletes are a year or two removed from a high school life that prepared them little for the intensity of their current obligations/expectations.

It ama…

Winning in Life

It is never easy to be the person you want to be and be the person that others expect you to be. We live in an environment that is littered with expectations, milestones, and achievements. Scoring a goal in soccer, learning to swim, getting a drivers license, losing your virginity, graduating high school, owning a car, graduating college, making a large income, owning a home are just a few of the many examples of what a person should achieve. I am not one to say that these goals and achievements are not important yet I question the value we as a society put on ourselves for such achievements. I imagine that if we created a profile of a person who had accomplished the fore mentioned achievements, a majority of people would believe that this person was a happy and successful individual.  Unfortunately, we are not seeing the nuts and bolts of the profile and seeing the true character of the individual. I would like to know if the person is an empathetic and a loving individual; Do they …

Survival Guide to Early Parenthood

A new baby comes with a whole new to-do list for mom and dad. According to the Relationship Research Institute, hundreds of tasks are added to a couple’s life. There’s so much more work and no one can ever do enough. Tensions over division of labour can lead to marital dissatisfaction — especially for women who perceive their partners aren’t pulling their weight. Two-career couples used to sharing the household load often find themselves with clashing expectations when one parent is on leave. Research shows that parents who are most likely to remain happy in the post-baby period learn effective conflict resolution skills to negotiate their way through everything from who changes the soggy diapers to who makes career sacrifices. Couples must strive to complain without blame,, and not allow disagreements to escalate. That means being able to ask for more help with the laundry, without spewing a litany of grudges over untreated stains and uncleared dishes. Research indicates that when dads …

Power of Words

Expressing your true intentions and emotional stance can change your world. 



Hitting Bottom to Help Others

http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/13509897/how-former-ohio-state-buckeyes-star-maurice-clarett-became-star-speaking-circuit I am struck by the human condition and depths in which a man must go to find their calling. Maurice Clarett has been down a road no one would ever want to travel yet his journey has brought him to a place where he can be his greatest. The accolades received on the field were never enough to make Maurice whole or fulfilled. Money and fame were just vehicles to his destruction as he was never able to find the comfort in being Maurice. Today, Maurice can uses his failures as a building block of hope and happiness. As in life, the lows can be dreadful but without them there cannot be highs. Learn from your mistakes and use them as stepping stones to gain the confidence and drive to be your true self. Happiness is not about the materials you have collected or experiences we have achieved yet it is about how you perceive yourself when you look in the mirror…

How is Anxiety Driving You?

Recent Interview conducted regarding Anxiety:

In your opinion, what is the driving force behind anxiety?
Self-sabotage and victimization are the driving force behind anxiety. That’s because individuals feed off of their failures- and then use them to remain stuck.
Interesting. So is there a way to avoid this trap?
I go by the motto “the more you scare yourself, the more you grow.” This is why I encourage every one of my clients to scare themselves daily and sit with the fear that comes up. I call this the “Leap of Faith.” 
You see, the more you can experience the vulnerability of fear, the more likely the chance that you will not experience the anxiety related to it down the road. Each time you face your fears, you gain more confidence. And this confidence is the key to everything.
You have said that a story or script developed early in life is the central theme surrounding anxiety. Tell us more about this.
This is what is called the Life and Relational Dynamics therapeutic approach. It ref…

What Happened to Trophies = Hardwork?

http://www.foxsports.com/nfl/story/pittsburgh-steelers-lb-james-harrison-rejects-sons-participation-trophies-081515 I love that Harrison is modeling attributes that support the development of a strong individual. Children are maturating in a world that at times is sending a message that can be detrimental for personal development. I support praising children and giving them confidence yet not at the cost of teaching them the tools which will eventually give them success in adulthood. By giving children trophies and praise for just participation sends the message that they do not have to work hard to get the prize. As we all know, this is far from the truth when trying acquire fulfillment in life. Being successful in your career and relationships requires dedication, perseverance, and hard work on a daily basis. 

The Microcosm of the Helicopter Parent

The Baby Boomers came from a school of thought that you need to respect your elders and work hard for what you want. Parents applied corporal punishment and were not prototypically affectionate towards their children. Parents would show love by giving money or buying gifts that were special. As a result of this type of upbringing, the child and soon to be adult developed an emotional and behavioral pattern that felt empty, not cared for and ultimately alone. These individuals felt disconnected with their parents and desired more affection and emotional intimacy. Unconsciously, they sought a goal in life as parents, to be more affectionate and invested in their child so that they would not feel the same as they did when they were a child. Parents would take on the role of savior regarding their children's issues to make them feel safe and nurtured. 
The problem is that a large majority of Generation X, Y, & Z people do not have the tools to communicate or express intimacy in a h…