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Showing posts from August, 2015

Power of Words

Expressing your true intentions and emotional stance can change your world. 



Hitting Bottom to Help Others

http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/13509897/how-former-ohio-state-buckeyes-star-maurice-clarett-became-star-speaking-circuit I am struck by the human condition and depths in which a man must go to find their calling. Maurice Clarett has been down a road no one would ever want to travel yet his journey has brought him to a place where he can be his greatest. The accolades received on the field were never enough to make Maurice whole or fulfilled. Money and fame were just vehicles to his destruction as he was never able to find the comfort in being Maurice. Today, Maurice can uses his failures as a building block of hope and happiness. As in life, the lows can be dreadful but without them there cannot be highs. Learn from your mistakes and use them as stepping stones to gain the confidence and drive to be your true self. Happiness is not about the materials you have collected or experiences we have achieved yet it is about how you perceive yourself when you look in the mirror…

How is Anxiety Driving You?

Recent Interview conducted regarding Anxiety:

In your opinion, what is the driving force behind anxiety?
Self-sabotage and victimization are the driving force behind anxiety. That’s because individuals feed off of their failures- and then use them to remain stuck.
Interesting. So is there a way to avoid this trap?
I go by the motto “the more you scare yourself, the more you grow.” This is why I encourage every one of my clients to scare themselves daily and sit with the fear that comes up. I call this the “Leap of Faith.” 
You see, the more you can experience the vulnerability of fear, the more likely the chance that you will not experience the anxiety related to it down the road. Each time you face your fears, you gain more confidence. And this confidence is the key to everything.
You have said that a story or script developed early in life is the central theme surrounding anxiety. Tell us more about this.
This is what is called the Life and Relational Dynamics therapeutic approach. It ref…

What Happened to Trophies = Hardwork?

http://www.foxsports.com/nfl/story/pittsburgh-steelers-lb-james-harrison-rejects-sons-participation-trophies-081515 I love that Harrison is modeling attributes that support the development of a strong individual. Children are maturating in a world that at times is sending a message that can be detrimental for personal development. I support praising children and giving them confidence yet not at the cost of teaching them the tools which will eventually give them success in adulthood. By giving children trophies and praise for just participation sends the message that they do not have to work hard to get the prize. As we all know, this is far from the truth when trying acquire fulfillment in life. Being successful in your career and relationships requires dedication, perseverance, and hard work on a daily basis. 

The Microcosm of the Helicopter Parent

The Baby Boomers came from a school of thought that you need to respect your elders and work hard for what you want. Parents applied corporal punishment and were not prototypically affectionate towards their children. Parents would show love by giving money or buying gifts that were special. As a result of this type of upbringing, the child and soon to be adult developed an emotional and behavioral pattern that felt empty, not cared for and ultimately alone. These individuals felt disconnected with their parents and desired more affection and emotional intimacy. Unconsciously, they sought a goal in life as parents, to be more affectionate and invested in their child so that they would not feel the same as they did when they were a child. Parents would take on the role of savior regarding their children's issues to make them feel safe and nurtured. 
The problem is that a large majority of Generation X, Y, & Z people do not have the tools to communicate or express intimacy in a h…

A Mindful Relationship

Clear and authentic communication is essential for a healthy relationship. A mindful partnership involves a place of understanding from where an individual is coming from. Clear boundaries and a respective responsibility of each other, as being unique is central for growth and belongingness. If a connection is fragmented, individuals cannot exist as one, than the relationship cannot be whole. Partners develop a dance around one another’s problems and develop dysfunctional patterns that are projected on the partner and world. Therefore, a healthy partnership revolves around letting go (being vulnerable) and accepting the relationship for what it is, who there are, and how they engage. Acquiring these attributes involves the removal of need, fear, and obsession. If we allow ourselves to be vulnerable than we allow ourselves to make a deep connection.
In addressing this concept back to direct communication, a disagreement is not about winning or losing yet about understanding. Conflict is …