Skip to main content

A Mindful Relationship

Clear and authentic communication is essential for a healthy relationship. A mindful partnership involves a place of understanding from where an individual is coming from. Clear boundaries and a respective responsibility of each other, as being unique is central for growth and belongingness. If a connection is fragmented, individuals cannot exist as one, than the relationship cannot be whole. Partners develop a dance around one another’s problems and develop dysfunctional patterns that are projected on the partner and world.
Therefore, a healthy partnership revolves around letting go (being vulnerable) and accepting the relationship for what it is, who there are, and how they engage. Acquiring these attributes involves the removal of need, fear, and obsession. If we allow ourselves to be vulnerable than we allow ourselves to make a deep connection.

In addressing this concept back to direct communication, a disagreement is not about winning or losing yet about understanding. Conflict is a natural part of relating yet if an individual feels that they lost than they will feel empty and avoid engaging in the future. The goal of the conflict/disagreement is to come to a place where the hurt can be expressed and understood. It does not mean that they have to agree yet understand how their partner feels and how it reflects back to their connection. If a couple can navigate hardships than they can develop a stronger bond. Exploration of pain and sorrow can equate to serenity and happiness.

A few keys to communicating to your partner in an effective fashion:

1.    Be present while discussing serious matters and do not attempt to multi-task or complete other tasks. Be available to listen to your mate without any distractions.

2.    Be aware how you are responding. If it is out of habit, fear, or anger, take a step back and reflect upon how you are feeling. Process the emotion and return when you are capable of expressing your true emotions. Fear based stances (anger or withdrawal) lead to more frustration and resentment. Attempt to be vulnerable and express the fears such as feeling guilt, shame, or sadness to your partner.

3.    Tone and body language – Are you acting and sounding critical or absent. A partner wants to feel understood and safe. Provide a comfortable forum for them to express themselves openly.

4.    Are you controlling or manipulating – A partnership requires faith, not fear. There is no room for jealousy or control. A relationship is developed based acceptance and love for one another. Don’t get confused that controlling, needing someone or being stifled equates to being loved.

5.    Use “I” statements, and avoid “You” comments as much as possible. The word “You” activates defenses and can stop the process of listening in a flash. Utilizing “I” to express yourself requires emotional expression, which allows the partner to hear how you feel.

6.    The Hard work – Relationships are not easy, communicating to your partner about your needs that are meaningful require deliberate work. Grind it out and put in the time and strength. Healthy relationships are not built over night.

Popular posts from this blog

Sustaining a Loving Relationship Part 3

Realistic Expectations

Among the reasons being in love may be so frustrating is that a lot of us expect magic. We expect chemistry, compliments, allegiance and clever conversation.
And we expect it all before the main course has even gotten there. Sustaining healthy expectations in love doesn't mean lowering your standards or flexing your morals.

Rather, it means coming to the table with an open mind and letting relationships build by nature in their own way and at their own rate. If you frequently feel disappointed after you fall in love, you might be manifesting your own destiny. 
                                                 What You Expect
Arrange your life for success. View a date as a chance to share things a getting to understand a new individual. That's it. If a 2nd date comes after, great! If fireworks blow up, even better! Blooming romance is a bonus of a love, not a fundamental.

Be an honest romantic. Having fair expectations doesn't mean turning bitter and jad…

Sustaining a Loving Relationship - Part 4

Taking Responsibility

We're responsible for our actions--all of them. We're responsible for our ideas and action, whether calculated or unintentional. A responsible individual makes errors, but if they do, they take responsibility and make it correct. 

Be accountable. Maybe you yelled at your kids because you were sapped at the end of a long day. Perhaps you snapped at your mate who was talking your ear off about things you truly weren't interested in. Perhaps you beeped your horn and gave a raunchy gesture to a wandering driver who cut you off.

Even if the other individual was out of line, you're responsible for yourself. Whatever you do, you're responsible for your behaviors. If your children are feisty, your mate unreasonable, your colleague unbearable, you're always responsible for how you react. Your action is under your command.

Quit blaming. It's simple to point the finger. As a matter of fact, you may build a case against anybody. However blaming other…

Sustaining a Loving Relationship Part 2

Emotions are the glue that associates you to others and gives meaning to life. They're the foundation of your power to comprehend yourself and relate to other people.

When you're aware and in command of your emotions, you are able to think clearly and creatively; manage stress and challenges; communicate well with other people; and display trust, empathy, and self-confidence. However lose command of your emotions, and you’ll spin into mental confusion, isolation, and negativity. By realizing and ruling your emotions you'll be able to gain command over the way you respond to challenges, better your communication skills, and savor more fulfilling relationships. This is the power of formulating emotional awareness.

Your Emotions

Whether we’re cognizant of them or not, emotions are a ceaseless presence in our lives, influencing everything we accomplish. Emotional awareness means recognizing what you're feeling and why. It’s the ability to identify and express what you'r…