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Capitalizing on our Wounds for a Pathway to Fulfillment

Life's not easy no matter who you are. We all have our own individual struggles, our own stories, moments of celebration among moments of despair. ⁣

Even though our journey isn't always easy the path to development and happiness lies in our ability to utilize our pain and failures as building blocks of strength. ⁣

Too many times we use our wounds as evidence of our inability to be great and thus perceive ourselves as less than. We need to use our pain as a pathway to look at ourselves as an evolving being. A human that is imperfect and constantly learning.

Self-awareness in the Eye of the Storm

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True acceptance of ourself doesn't mean dismissing your actions or motives, it means allowing yourself to see the path in which your behaviors are processed, motivated and acted upon.
This is done without judgement from unrealistic self expectations of how we should think, process or act. The acceptance comes from a place that we are flawed and do make mistakes, not just now but always. This allows us to be OPEN to our perception of the world. Thus, creating a development model of growth.
An example of such growth happens in a normal occurrence when possibly triggered by our significant other. Let's say they activate a reactive behavior within us after making us feel disrespected, less than or not worthy. This emotional response is subtle but ingrained in our inner narrative and defense mechanisms.
So now I have been triggered by my mate and I respond in an angry fashion, possibly making them feel less than with shame. Now we have two individuals triggered and communicating is in…

The Healthy Couple

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Clear and authentic communication is essential for a healthy relationship. A mindful partnership involves a place of understanding from where an individual is coming from. Clear boundaries and a respective responsibility of each other, as being unique is central for growth and belongingness. If a connection is fragmented, individuals cannot exist as one, than the relationship cannot be whole. Partners develop a dance around one another’s problems and develop dysfunctional patterns that are projected on the partner and world.
Therefore, a healthy partnership revolves around letting go (being vulnerable) and accepting the relationship for what it is, who they are, and how they engage. Acquiring these attributes involves the removal of need, fear, and obsession. If we allow ourselves to be vulnerable than we allow ourselves to make a deep connection.
In addressing this concept back to direct communication, a disagreement is not about winning or losing yet about understanding. Conflict is a…

The Psychology of Stress

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Stress has gotten to be so endemic it's worn like a badge of bravery. But the effects of tension are even more profound than envisaged. It gets through to the core of our being. Stress isn't something that merely grips us and, with work lets go. It alters us in the process.

We get sensitized to stress. This sensitization leads the brain to re- circuit itself in reaction to stress. We understand that what we're coming across might be a normal, daily episode of tension, but the mind is signaling the body to react unsuitably. We might not think we're getting worked up over running late for an engagement, but our mind is treating it as if our life is on the line.

The revelation that tension itself changes our power to cope with tension has produced yet another noteworthy finding: Sensitization to stress might happen before we're old enough to forestall it ourselves. New studies advise that animals to humans could experience still undetermined developmental periods during…

Sustaining a Loving Relationship - Part 6

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Communication

Learning how to communicate effectively is critical in day-to-day life whether you're talking to fellow employees or loved ones. You need to learn to get your point across in a non-confrontational manner. Practice communication in order to have better relationships with those you love and are around on a daily basis. With patience and time, a lot of individuals may become better communicators and relish healthy relationships. 

Talk slowly and calmly. Take in a deep breath to cool off and stay in command whether you are angry, uneasy or shy. Get in touch with your affect state and if you need a moment, take one.

Communicate distinctly and concisely. Don't be obscure. State your exact feeling, like, "I am feeling sapped because I didn't get enough sleep." Don't assume the other individual knows how you're feeling. Get directly to the point.
Learn how to listen. Center on the individual who is talking. Look in her eyes. Repeat back particular thin…

Sustaining a Loving Relationship - Part 5

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     Be Attentive & Be You

Being in a relationship implies caring about the solace and satisfaction of your mate on all levels. If you truly want to satisfy your mate, this means attentiveness to all aspects of the relationship, both in, and out of, the bedroom.  

Be thoughtful. Nothing is quite as appreciated as knowing your mate wants to spend time with you. Make yourself available for conversation or run errands with one another. Conveying the notion that you wish to spend time with your mate renders a great deal of emotional gratification.

Learn the little things your mate likes. If your mate loves a cup of hot tea in the morning, brew some tea. If your mate likes to curl up in a preferred chair for a noon nap, cover her with a blanket. Little courtesies like these may make your mate very pleased with the quality of the relationship.

Keep yourself clean. While this may appear obvious, the fact is a lot of individuals want a kiss first thing in the morning, despite bad breath. S…

Sustaining a Loving Relationship - Part 4

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Taking Responsibility

We're responsible for our actions--all of them. We're responsible for our ideas and action, whether calculated or unintentional. A responsible individual makes errors, but if they do, they take responsibility and make it correct. 

Be accountable. Maybe you yelled at your kids because you were sapped at the end of a long day. Perhaps you snapped at your mate who was talking your ear off about things you truly weren't interested in. Perhaps you beeped your horn and gave a raunchy gesture to a wandering driver who cut you off.


Even if the other individual was out of line, you're responsible for yourself. Whatever you do, you're responsible for your behaviors. If your children are feisty, your mate unreasonable, your colleague unbearable, you're always responsible for how you react. Your action is under your command.

Quit blaming. It's simple to point the finger. As a matter of fact, you may build a case against anybody. However blaming other…