Skip to main content

The Courage to Work on Yourself



“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.”    
 - David Richo

I think the most courageous acts a human can make are to accept their flaws and take the steps to make the appropriate changes in their life. I work with courageous people on a daily basis. Every time I meet a client in my therapy office in Los Angeles, I am always struck by their motivation and strength to make changes in their life.

Walking into a therapy office is scary, as it requires a person to be vulnerable with a perfect stranger. For most, talking about their most inner fears is not easy or fun to go through. I have worked with so many different people over the years and there is one constant about the people who make change in their life, being vulnerable is the recipe for growth.  It is not easy to be vulnerable since most of us have been hurt in so many different ways and the idea of going through this again is not something we desire to experience again.

I like to have a frank conversation with my clients when I first meet them that therapeutic process is not easy yet so rewarding. Sometimes clients feel worse before they get better, but by committing to therapy they are allowing themselves to achieve beyond their current limits and achieve a state of maturation.  It takes true courage for someone to take that stance and move forward. I am proud of each of my clients who walk into my office. The ones that stick it out are the true heroes.

When I was in my graduate program years ago, one professor talked about the human journey and the need to take chances to maturate in life. He talked about Soren Kierkegaard’s writings and philosophy that each human experiences a leap of faith on a regular basis. Based on Kierkegaards writings: Each man stands before a cliff in the dark of night with a dense fog not knowing the height or landing below. One thing is certain that there is a sound of ocean and tide below. Even though we think we will land safe in the water, we still fear the danger of the rocky cliffs and bitter end based on our inability to see surface below. People before have landed safely while making this jump, yet we still ponder the decision based on our potential doom. This is where we need to take a leap of faith. If we can make that jump we grow as individuals, as we never know the outcome of any event. It is said that if we jump we can call our self a human and once we land safely, we can call our self a hero.

Here is to the heroes who have taken the leap of faith. You are courageous individuals and life has a lot to offer you. I look forward to meeting you.

The published article can be found in Good therapy.org - 

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/courage-to-work-on-yourself-1121132

Popular posts from this blog

Sustaining a Loving Relationship Part 3

Realistic Expectations


Among the reasons being in love may be so frustrating is that a lot of us expect magic. We expect chemistry, compliments, allegiance and clever conversation.
And we expect it all before the main course has even gotten there. Sustaining healthy expectations in love doesn't mean lowering your standards or flexing your morals.

Rather, it means coming to the table with an open mind and letting relationships build by nature in their own way and at their own rate. If you frequently feel disappointed after you fall in love, you might be manifesting your own destiny. 
                                                 What You Expect
Arrange your life for success. View a date as a chance to share things a getting to understand a new individual. That's it. If a 2nd date comes after, great! If fireworks blow up, even better! Blooming romance is a bonus of a love, not a fundamental.

Be an honest romantic. Having fair expectations doesn't mean turning bitter and jad…

Sustaining a Loving Relationship - Part 4

Taking Responsibility

We're responsible for our actions--all of them. We're responsible for our ideas and action, whether calculated or unintentional. A responsible individual makes errors, but if they do, they take responsibility and make it correct. 

Be accountable. Maybe you yelled at your kids because you were sapped at the end of a long day. Perhaps you snapped at your mate who was talking your ear off about things you truly weren't interested in. Perhaps you beeped your horn and gave a raunchy gesture to a wandering driver who cut you off.


Even if the other individual was out of line, you're responsible for yourself. Whatever you do, you're responsible for your behaviors. If your children are feisty, your mate unreasonable, your colleague unbearable, you're always responsible for how you react. Your action is under your command.

Quit blaming. It's simple to point the finger. As a matter of fact, you may build a case against anybody. However blaming other…

Sustaining a Loving Relationship Part 2

Emotions are the glue that associates you to others and gives meaning to life. They're the foundation of your power to comprehend yourself and relate to other people.

When you're aware and in command of your emotions, you are able to think clearly and creatively; manage stress and challenges; communicate well with other people; and display trust, empathy, and self-confidence. However lose command of your emotions, and you’ll spin into mental confusion, isolation, and negativity. By realizing and ruling your emotions you'll be able to gain command over the way you respond to challenges, better your communication skills, and savor more fulfilling relationships. This is the power of formulating emotional awareness.

Your Emotions

Whether we’re cognizant of them or not, emotions are a ceaseless presence in our lives, influencing everything we accomplish. Emotional awareness means recognizing what you're feeling and why. It’s the ability to identify and express what you'r…