I recently wrote an article for Therapy Today on the vulnerability of going to therapy and the incredible growth you can achieve by attending sessions:
“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.”
– David Richo
One of the most courageous acts a human can make is to accept their flaws and look within themselves to take the appropriate steps to develop as a healthy individual. I work with brave people on a daily basis. Every time I meet a new client in my Los Angeles office, I am enlightened by their motivation and strength to make change in their life.
Walking into a therapy office can be terrifying, as it requires a person to be vulnerable and expose their imperfections with a perfect stranger. For most, talking about our most inner fears is not an easy task. I have worked with many different people over the years and there is one constant about the people who make change in their life, being vulnerable is the recipe for growth. It is not easy to be vulnerable since most of us have been hurt in so many different ways and the idea of going through a similar pain by announcing our shame, fear, and guilt can feel overwhelming and almost traumatizing for some individuals. A vast majority of people hold onto their fear which manifests in many maladaptive ways yet the ones that expose it, and denounce it, can rid themselves of the constant self-doubt, shame, and guilt.
When I first meet my clients I like to have a frank conversation about the therapeutic process and the fact that it is not easy yet can be very rewarding. Sometimes clients feel worse before they get better, but by committing to therapy they are allowing themselves to achieve beyond their current limits and achieve a state of emotional maturation. It takes a true warrior to take that stance and move forward. I am proud of my clients who walk into my office. The ones that stick it out are true heroes.
While I was in my graduate program, one professor explored the human journey and the need to take chances to maturate in life. He detailed the writings of Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher in the 1500’s. One of his theories which was quite profound, depicted the human achievement of fulfillment as attempting a series of personal leaps of faith.
Discussed is Kierkegaards metaphor of the Leap of Faith:
Each man stands at the edge of a cliff in the dark of night with a fog so dense you cannot see in front of you. You are not aware of the height or landing below. One thing is certain that there is a sound of an ocean and tide below. Not aware of the water depth or clearance of the rocky cliff below we are asked to jump. We know we are not the first person to jump as we saw an individual swim out as we made our way up the cliff. Even though we are aware that others have landed unharmed we still ponder the decision based on the variables of the unknown fear. This is where we need to take a leap of faith. If we can make that jump we grow as individuals, as we never know the outcome of any event in life. It is said that if we jump we can call our self a human and once we land we can call our self a hero regardless of the outcome. Life is about vulnerability and exploring the unknown. Every time we take a chance to address our needs we will move towards self-fulfillment.
Here is to the heroes who have taken the leap of faith. You are courageous individuals and life has a lot to offer you. I look forward to meeting you.
Among the reasons being in love may be so frustrating is that a lot of
us expect magic. We expect chemistry, compliments, allegiance and
And we expect it all before the main course has even gotten there.
Sustaining healthy expectations in love doesn't mean lowering your
standards or flexing your morals.
Rather, it means coming to the table with an open mind and letting
relationships build by nature in their own way and at their own rate.
If you frequently feel disappointed after you fall in love, you might be
manifesting your own destiny. What You Expect
Arrange your life for success. View a date as a chance to share
things a getting to understand a new individual. That's it. If a 2nd
date comes after, great! If fireworks blow up, even better!
Blooming romance is a bonus of a love, not a fundamental.
Be an honest romantic. Having fair expectations doesn't mean
turning bitter and jad…
We're responsible for our actions--all of them. We're responsible for
our ideas and action, whether calculated or unintentional. A
responsible individual makes errors, but if they do, they take
responsibility and make it correct.
Be accountable. Maybe you yelled at your kids because you were
sapped at the end of a long day. Perhaps you snapped at your mate
who was talking your ear off about things you truly weren't interested
in. Perhaps you beeped your horn and gave a raunchy gesture to a
wandering driver who cut you off.
Even if the other individual was out of line, you're responsible for
yourself. Whatever you do, you're responsible for your behaviors. If
your children are feisty, your mate unreasonable, your colleague
unbearable, you're always responsible for how you react. Your action
is under your command.
Quit blaming. It's simple to point the finger. As a matter of fact, you
may build a case against anybody. However blaming other…
Emotions are the glue that associates you to others and gives meaning
to life. They're the foundation of your power to comprehend yourself
and relate to other people.
When you're aware and in command of your emotions, you are able to
think clearly and creatively; manage stress and challenges;
communicate well with other people; and display trust, empathy, and
self-confidence. However lose command of your emotions, and you’ll spin into mental
confusion, isolation, and negativity. By realizing and ruling your
emotions you'll be able to gain command over the way you respond to
challenges, better your communication skills, and savor more
fulfilling relationships. This is the power of formulating emotional awareness.
Whether we’re cognizant of them or not, emotions are a ceaseless
presence in our lives, influencing everything we accomplish. Emotional awareness means recognizing what you're feeling and why.
It’s the ability to identify and express what you'r…